Is it weird that I don’t like masturbating?

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First of all, you are normal. I really hate the word ‘normal’, it causes people so much stress about their identities, preferences and behaviour. But don’t worry, you’re fine.

Some people (like your friends) masturbate daily. Some people weekly. Others monthly. Some people never. You get it. Everyone is different. I understand your concern about feeling like you’re missing out, that sucks. But the more comfortable you become with yourself and your sexuality the less you’ll feel like that. If you still want to give it go, bullet vibrators are really good and simple and they’re not that expensive. Porn is also a thing.

You said that you don’t know if you’ve ever been turned on before. That is also completely normal. Maybe have a read about asexuality and demisexuality and see if either of these sexualities make sense to you or comfort you in any way. But also don’t worry about fitting into a box. You define the label, not the other way around. It’s great that you’re asking questions, keep exploring but just remember that your feelings and your body are completely normal and valid.

Hope this helps 🙂

Hannah x

P.S. If you have any advice for this person, leave them in the comments below.

This was an anonymous question taken from my Tumblr. 

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10 thoughts on “Is it weird that I don’t like masturbating?

  1. I hate to be all old and stuff and use this card: you are young. And no one ever proved that sexuality has to come in your puberty. I wasn’t sexual until I was 24! I had never met anyone I was physically attracted to before that and I had never felt turned on or horny.
    I don’t know you, and you probably don’t even know yourself yet. But don’t fret. Wether it’s asexuality, blooming later in life, insecurities and anxiety or simple just random, you will be fine.
    The most important thing is listening to your own feelings and needs, and disregarding norms. It can be quite difficult to reach a point where you are relaxed with your sexuality but the relaxed part is the most important one. You can not get truly excited if you can’t truly relax. Give it time!

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  2. In my experience, people come into their sexuality at different rates. There are levels of sexual expression that you obviously aren’t ready for now… and that’s fine. You may feel more sexual and/or enjoy masturbating more as you get older (or you may not) but I would not assume that because at 18 you are not sexual in this way that you will never be. For me, the things I enjoyed at 18 are quite different than those I enjoy now.

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  3. I completely agree that the idea of normality is complete BS. I have been sexually aware from a very young age and I also felt weird and abnormal because I was feeling things that no one else around me felt yet. So yeah, it’s okay to not be ‘in sync’ with people from your age group. Just do what makes you feel comfortable, and if you do not feel any sexual desire, why bother spending your time trying to figure out how to get it? If ever it comes, it’ll come on its own (pun intended). Also, sexuality changes A LOT in course of a lifetime. I remember when I was younger I would be turned on by some scenarios, people etc that don’t turn me on anymore now that I’m older. It’s very possible that you will discover sexual desire later on in life. Just do what makes you happy, what makes your body feel good, whether it’s playing sports, eating chocolate or enjoying a massage. If anything, that’ll be the way to achieve pleasure, because hey, that’s what sex is all about. Relax and don’t put too much pressure on yourself, that may actually be the reason why you can’t be turned on in the first place, who knows?

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  4. no its not weird its just a thing that you don’t like and other people do. Some people enjoy the chemical release for stress or to help them sleep or even energy for the day. Some people do it to work themselves up for sex later or a substitute for sex. Some people don’t get the satisfaction like they would from sex so they just wait until then. Some people have done it so much that it’s not anything anymore so there is no point. Lots of different taste for lots of different people. I don’t think it’s weird at all.

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  5. Dear Anonymous,
    I am also a girl/woman of 18 years old, although I am the opposite of you, I honestly have been masturbating since I was a very very young child. Although, I somehow discovered as a young child the magic of “things that vibrate”, let’s just say. Anyhow, when it’s just you alone, it’s quite a different story. It took me maybe from ages 6-12 to nail down my perfect “technique.” For example, I need tension on my thighs, as in a pelvic lift sort of position. And when they call it flicking the bean their not far off. Everyone is different, so I obviously have no idea if that helps, but I do know vibrations around the clitoris often wins all. Also a side note, if you’ve been on a certain birth control, the hormones can HUGELY effect your libido. So if you are taking birth control you can talk to your doctor or gyno about switching or quitting. As for sex, well I still can’t achieve satisfaction from regular old intercourse. So if that occurs in the future I’d say your okay there too. I hope some of that helps! And was not too detailed.

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  6. Hello my dear I’m 26 years old I’m living in Paris and my boyfriend live in Switzerland and we are together since 2012!!!! I just want to told you that you are completely normal I don’t like masturbating too and I really miss my boyfriend when he’s not here . we see each other every tow months so you understand that it’s hard for me but I don’t touch myself I just don’t like it.
    Even me boyfriend brought me tow expensive sex-toys GOOOD ONES 😅😅 but I don’t use them even in cold and lonely nights if you see what I mean 😰😰. so don’t feel strange because you are not doing like other people . Feel free ❤️

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  7. I just want to say that I had the same problem as a teen! I was sexually active, yes, but I never orgasmed. I could never masturbate because it didn’t work for me. Then when I turned 20, I bought a rabbit vibrator. It did what I couldn’t. My boyfriend hardly gets me off, even. But the rabbit helped me-and still does. Trust me, when it does happen, you’ll know. Good luck, girl! ❤

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  8. It’s completely fine, some people do it, some people don’t. I don’t by myself save for mentally and only completely with someone else, that person rn being my boyfriend. It’s nothing to be worried about, I empathize w/ you. It’s super weird to talk about sometimes and you don’t wanna be the only one.

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